I prefer not to view this as a failure.
So I never made it through the entirety of Dr. Robynne
Chutkan’s 10-Day Plan for Gutbliss. The
idea was to follow a strict diet that would help “ban bloat, flush toxins, and
dump [my] digestive baggage.” I shut it
down after six days. For those of you
keeping score at home, that’s the third straight “___-day plan” that I’ve abandoned
since starting this blog. I recognize
that this speaks rather poorly of my track record.
Visual representation of my track record.
However, I do want to clarify that I didn’t give up because
I had a moment of weakness, or because the diet was too strict, or because I
missed gluten and soy like old friends.
All of those things are true, but they weren’t what made me quit.
I quit the 10-Day Plan because that plan is wack.
My eating habits in general are fairly healthy. The thing that trips me up is my deep-seated
and all-encompassing love for sugar. Despite
my daily intentions to the contrary, sugar always manages to find its way into
my mouth. And never a single bite of
sugar, either--more like ten bites (or more).
That’s enough to seriously muck up my BMI, and it certainly bloats my
stomach. So stripping all the SAD GAS
(soy, artificial sweeteners, dairy, gluten, alcohol, and sugar) from my diet
didn’t leave me starving. I’m all about
leafy greens and free-range chicken, and I expected that cutting sugar would
make me feel like a million bucks.
Instead I felt like a nickel that got run over by a train.
I blame the psyllium husk.
Visual representation of my relationship to psyllium
husk.
I still have nothing nice to say about psyllium husk. It tastes like garbage and it made my stomach
swell up until even my sweatpants were tight.
It was a really bleak six days that I spent waddling around, clutching my
abdomen, and making evil eyes at my leafy greens. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore.
The scene: It was a gray October afternoon. I was at my niece’s Disney princess birthday
party dressed like Cinderella (before the ball), with my stomach playing the
role of the pumpkin. There was a chill in the air and a gaggle of shrieking children jumping
in a bounce house. I shivered and sipped
my water and searched the premises for a nut or a leaf or a whole grain. Then my sister handed me a Samuel Adams
Octoberfest.
And I drank it.
Visual representation of my experience at children’s parties.
It tasted like relief.
After six days of feeling terrible, it was so refreshing to just admit
that the plan wasn’t working for me, and simply abandon it. It was refreshing to eat a handful of popcorn
without feeling guilty about it. And it
was particularly refreshing to screw the cap tight on the jar of psyllium husk
and lock it away forever.
I did not feel immediately better; I had a pretty bad
stomachache that night. But eventually
my body readjusted to digesting sugar and gluten, and I started to feel more
like myself. After a few days, I could
even wear my skinny jeans again.
If I had stuck with the plan, maybe I would have made it to gutbliss, just like Dr. Chutkan promised. But ultimately the draw of a seasonal beer, whose benefits were proven and immediate, was more compelling than an eventual state of digestive nirvana that I didn’t really believe in anymore. I did re-learn the importance of listening to my body, and I was reminded that I don’t need to aim quite so high when making healthy changes in my life. And that ’s the purpose of this blog, to learn from my mistakes and to make gentle adjustments toward a goal of overall wellness.
Thankfully, that’s a concept I can commit to for longer than ten days.
If I had stuck with the plan, maybe I would have made it to gutbliss, just like Dr. Chutkan promised. But ultimately the draw of a seasonal beer, whose benefits were proven and immediate, was more compelling than an eventual state of digestive nirvana that I didn’t really believe in anymore. I did re-learn the importance of listening to my body, and I was reminded that I don’t need to aim quite so high when making healthy changes in my life. And that
Thankfully, that’s a concept I can commit to for longer than ten days.